Did you know that an estimated eight million UK workers have experienced workplace conflict in the past year?
Improving the frequency and quality of communication in your team is great for reducing conflict. But everyone reacts to conversations, requests and roles differently. So, how do you know that your communications aren’t going to cause more friction rather than reducing it?
This is where knowledge of Transactional Analysis helps improve your communication skills and manage conflict in the workplace.
In this article, we’ll further define this concept while offering more Transactional Analysis examples. We’ll also showcase how our Leadership Training Courses give you the knowledge and understanding to manage different personalities.
What is Transactional Analysis (TA)?
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a psychological theory and communication model that examines interactions (or “transactions”) between people, seeking to determine their ego states.
The theory was initially thought out by Sigmund Freud, who determined that our behaviours are driven by different ‘ego states’. However, it was psychologist Eric Berne who took Freud’s thoughts further to develop the TA theory and spotlight the different ego states; namely “parent”, “adult” and “child” states. We’ll cover these states in more detail shortly.
Why is Transactional Analysis Used?
Transactional Analysis (TA) helps people understand how and why they communicate the way they do, by breaking down conversations into observable patterns.
By analysing these “transactions,” you can:
- Spot when someone is reacting emotionally (Child), acting on learned behaviour (Parent), or thinking rationally (Adult).
- Identify miscommunications and power dynamics.
- Improve communication by shifting into a more constructive, rational Adult-to-Adult mode.
In short: TA makes the invisible dynamics of communication visible, so people can change unhelpful patterns and build better relationships—whether in therapy, teams, or leadership.
The idea behind the theory, certainly from a management perspective, is that if you know which ego state the initiator of communication is in, you can better manage the discussion to ensure it stays productive and avoids conflict.
Is Transactional Analysis Psychodynamic?
Transactional Analysis is a psychodynamic model of psychology as it highlights how certain subconscious behaviours influence our thoughts, feelings and communications.
The theory developed by Berne analyses the influence of certain ego states to understand how and why people interact with others in certain ways.
So, what are the key concepts of the model?
Key Concepts of Transactional Analysis
Although the parent, adult and child ego states are the main components of TA, there are some additional concepts to be aware of. Let’s overview them now.
Ego States
TA theorises that we have three different ego states which affect our decision-making and communication skills. These are split into the child ego state, the parent ego state, and the adult state.
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Parent State |
Thoughts, feelings and actions copied from parents or guardians |
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Adults State |
Behaviours, thoughts and feelings that are direct responses to here and now |
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Child State |
Thoughts, feelings and actions replayed from childhood. |
Life Positions
Berne theorised that there are four Life Positions, established by the verbal and non-verbal cues from parents or teachers:
- I’m Ok, you’re Ok: Also known as a “winning” or “healthy” approach. This person knows they are loved and love in exchange via trustworthy tendencies. People in this category may suit People-oriented roles from Belbin’s team roles model.
- I’m not Ok, you’re Ok: This person considers themselves to be on the losing end of most interactions. They have a compulsion to please and support others while feeling that they are victimised.
- I’m Ok, you’re not Ok: A person focused on their own “wants” and will step over others to achieve those goals. These people often make others feel inferior while feeling “good” about themselves.
- I’m not Ok, you’re not Ok: This person feels frustrated and sometimes hopeless. They lack self-belief and often make decisions that result in them or others becoming a victim.
Life Scripts
Life Scripts are plans for your life that have been pre-set or influenced by the people you grew up with.
Similarly, teachers play a huge part in developing life scripts. If you are constantly told you excel in a certain subject, this may help form a further interest or career path as you continue developing your associated skills.
Conversely, being constantly put down by educators could harm your confidence moving forward.
Transactions and Strokes
In Berne’s Transactional Analysis, ‘transactions’ are seen as the different inputs (both verbal and non-verbal) in a conversation. Transactions can be complementary, crossed, or ulterior – we’ll cover these in more detail later.
Meanwhile, ‘Strokes’ are defined by Berne as a ‘unit of recognition.’ These could be a friendly response to a greeting.
Strokes have become even more pertinent to behaviour with the creation and adoption of social media. Collecting and sharing actions such as likes, comments and shares can cause us to feel happy and empowered.
Similarly, a lack of those social strokes can cause us to feel sad or deprived of recognition.
Games
“Games” refers to the unconscious games that we play in our everyday interactions with each other. Behavioural patterns and games lead to predictable outcomes, often reinforcing negative feelings or beliefs:
An example of games in Transactional Analysis would be someone regularly pointing out others’ flaws to divert attention from their shortcomings.
Transactional Analysis Ego States: Parent, Adult, and Child Model (PAC Model)
As we mentioned previously, the Transactional Analysis model has its roots in the three ego states theory.
Parent State
The parent state places a huge significance on upbringing and the experiences therein. Berne believed that the biggest contribution to the parent state happens in the first five years of life.
The main elements of the parent state concern reactions or perceived reactions of others and how these measure against our own learned approaches. This state can also be split into critical and nurturing approaches based on what each person understands to be wrong and right.
- Critical parent state: May judge others on what they ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ do in certain scenarios. They can then become aggressive or passive-aggressive when offering feedback.
- Nurturing parent state: Ego would approach from a softer position, intent on learning why a person took that approach. This area of the ego can be perfect for conflict resolution and relationship building.
Adult State
The adult ego state is more focused on reacting in the present than the parent or child states.
Similar to the nurture division of the parent state, adult state egos are more curious and seek to learn the reasons behind decision-making.
However, because the adult state interacts with people in the present rather than from past conditioning, it offers more respect for others’ opinions and approaches. It can be an excellent state for Line Managers wanting to amplify a positive workplace culture.
Child State
The child ego state is built and reinforced by experiences as a child. The regularity of praise and discipline can affect decision-making in this ego state.
Just as in the parent state ego, there are subdivisions in the child state defining positive or negative behaviour. These are the adapted and free child ego states.
- Adapted child state: Behaviour is more attached to choices that would make others happy. This compulsion to please often leads to them becoming popular team members.
- Free child state: Behaviour is more creative, spontaneous and playful.
Real-Life Examples of Transactional Analysis
If you want to improve your communication skills using Berne’s theory, then the good news is that there are Transactional Analysis examples in everyday conversations.
Imagine a manager talking to a team member:
- Manager: “Have you finished that report yet? I need it on my desk this afternoon to present to the board later this week”
- Employee: “I am working on it and will get it done. I know about the pre-agreed deadline. You don’t need to check in on me”
- Manager: “That’s fine. But I really need it today, so I wanted to make sure that you were aware of it. Also, that attitude is not productive.”
- Employee: “Like I said, you’ll have it this afternoon.”
The above interaction is an example of parent and child ego states conversing over a shared project. As you can see, the lines of communication are breaking down, manifesting in trust issues between the two parties.
Now, let’s look at an example of what this interaction could look like if the manager had leveraged TA and soft skills to strengthen their adult ego state:
- Manager: “Hey, just checking in—how’s the report coming along? Let me know if you need any support to ensure it’s ready this afternoon.”
- Employee: “I’m working on it and will get it done. I’m aware of the deadline, so no need to check in.”
- Manager: “I appreciate that you’re on top of it. Since I’ll be presenting it later this week, I just wanted to confirm that everything is on track. Let me know if any issues come up.”
- Employee: “No problem. You’ll have it this afternoon.”
Using this example of Transactional Analysis we can see that the manager has removed any unnecessary pressure, provided good reason while reconfirming the deadline.
In doing so, the conversation has been approached collaboratively, and the manager can demonstrate more empathy in leadership, inspiring better communication and enhanced company culture. Studies have found that employees benefiting from a positive workplace culture are 12% more productive.
Get in contact with our expert team to find out more about how to enhance the adult ego states in your team and start inspiring your team’s productivity.
How to Apply Transactional Analysis for Better Communication
In addition to knowing about the different ego states, it’s important to understand how they interact with each other. To do this, we need to overview three different types of transactions:
- Complementary Transactions: When conversation occurs between two parallel ego states e.g. an adult state talking to an adult state. This conversation style is perfect as the speaker and recipient respond to each other in a way that compliments their ego state.
- Ulterior Transactions: This happens when someone in the conversation is saying one thing while subconsciously meaning something else.
An example of an ulterior transaction might be a manager saying something like “Can I double-check that report before you send it out.”
The recipient may see this transaction as a challenge to the quality of their work or as evidence that their manager does not trust them.
- Crossed Transactions: A common cause of workplace conflict is when two different ego states try to complete a transaction.
A classic example would be a customer being rude to a waiter in a restaurant. The critical parent state of the customer could cause the waiter to take a more adapted child state.
Common Mistakes to Avoid in Transactional Analysis
Understanding Transactional Analysis theory will help improve your communication skills. But there are some pitfalls to be aware of, too. Let’s take a look at three things to avoid:
- Engaging in crossed transactions: As we just mentioned, crossed transactions are never helpful for clear and productive communication. Often, these transactions can degenerate, giving power to unhelpful ego states.
To avoid this miscommunication opportunity it’s best to try and keep discussions logical and professional – firmly rooted in the adult range.
- Overusing the parent ego state: Becoming overly critical or controlling can leave employees feeling micromanaged or as though there is a lack of trust.
These unproductive traits are borne out of the parent ego states. Shifting to a more adult ego state can help reduce the friction. Offer guidance without being authoritarian and ask open-ended questions to aid development while also offering employees autonomy.
Here’s an example of what a before and after would look like in this instance:
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- Before: “You always miss deadlines! If you don’t fix this, there will be consequences – potentially leading to disciplinary action.”
- After: “The deadline was missed. Let’s have a chat and try to figure out what went wrong and how we can prevent it next time.”
- Failing to recognise ego state shifts: Discussions can move from one state to another, so it’s important to understand when those shifts happen and manage responses accordingly.
When this happens, it’s important to steer the chat back to an adult-adult exchange to remain progressive and productive. The principles of the RULER tool and emotional intelligence can be useful here.
The best way to avoid these TA mistakes is to sharpen your communication skills with our leadership training courses. Speak with our knowledgeable team today to take the first steps to getting more meaningful, progressive and professional communication in your team.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Here are frequently asked questions regarding some Transactional Analysis examples.
Can Transactional Analysis Help with Personal Development?
Berne’s Transactional Analysis can benefit personal development. Knowing how to communicate with colleagues to enhance performance is an essential skill for leaders.
Additionally, recognising when conversations are shifting through different ego states is as important. Understanding when and how to shift your tone, body language and responses based on the reactions of the other people in the discussion is imperative for keeping the communication open and progressive.
Studies show that soft skills like good communication are linked to 11% faster promotions.
What Are Some Signs of a Crossed Transaction?
Crossed transactions occur when the ego states of two people do not align. This can lead to miscommunication, tension or conflict. Some clear signs of crossed transactions include:
- Defensive or emotional reactions
- Shifts in discussion tone or energy,
- Conversations becoming unproductive or circular
- Conversions escalating rather than staying resolution-focused
- Misinterpretation of intent
The best way to avoid crossed transactions occurring and escalating is to remain in the adult ego state and be mindful of shifts in ego states.
Can Transactional Analysis Be Used for Conflict Resolution?
Transactional Analysis can be a great tool for conflict resolution as it can help team members understand why misunderstandings occur. It can also be great for developing another crucial leadership skill – empathy.
Because it encourages leaders to look, listen and analyse the input from people in discussions, they will reduce the amount of emotion in their responses and find it easier to empathise with the other person’s perspective – helping to shift or keep conversations in a progressive space.
What Are the Limitations of Transactional Analysis?
Transactional Analysis is a great way to develop leaders within your business. But it’s not without its challenges. Some common limitations of TA are:
- Oversimplification of human behaviour: Condensing the complexities of human interaction into three ego states may not adequately cover the range of psychological dynamics.
- Requires willingness to change: In order to make the most of TA as a tool for personal development, people must be open to self-reflection and critical analysis.
- Can be misapplied: Incorrectly labeling interactions or overusing certain TA concepts can lead to miscommunications or ineffective discussions.
- Not a quick fix: Altering behavioural patterns learned in the first five years of life and strengthened over time can take a while.
Conclusion
Our Transactional Analysis examples highlight how important this theory still is to professional communication today. To get the most productive responses from your team, leaders need to know how to communicate on a behavioural and conversational basis.
Improving the Transactional Analysis skills of your team can unlock a world of productivity and communication wins for your business.
Speak to our expert team to find out how our leadership training can develop these skills and progress your managers into more well-rounded and valuable leaders.
